“Pretty, pretty please, don’t ever feel like you’re less than perfect. You are perfect to me” Pink

  LOVE

an intense feeling of deep affection

(Soul Sisters Book Club —>)

Pink has been my new person. She writes about beauty and struggle. 

 

“I don’t want to be this way forever. Keep telling myself that I’ll get better. Maybe I’m just scared to be happy.”

 “We could have it all.”

 All lyrics by Pink. 

 How do we help all kids feel like they are perfect just as they are? That they can have it all? And that all feelings are normal, can be shared, they change, and can be managed?

 I have always believed that through teaching reading and writing, we can help kids feel seen, heard, cherished, connected, worthy, confident, and loved. I have been working on that since the beginning of the pandemic with my soul sister group (above).

 It’s the HOW?! 

 Recently I have been thinking about the importance of balance. We are so driven for results.  I have shared in earlier posts that surrender is my word.  And in teaching there really is a lot of surrendering and trust.

 Many teachers have concerns when their school or district take on the Writing Workshop Curriculum. They say things like:

Yes, things haven’t worked in the past, but how do you know this will work? 

Kids don’t have anything to write about.

Kids don’t write on their own.

This child is hardly writing anything.

How do you grade this kind of writing?

Teachers have to surrender and trust. Not easy, when their district is asking for high test scores. Taking on a new curriculum, one where results occur over time, is scary.

Kind of like dating. I hate it. It’s so weird. Especially at my age. I met my ex-husband at work. We were sixteen. He was cute and sweet and a gentleman. I was smitten. Not easy to get smitten over Match. And then there’s the dance. Where do we go on the first date? Every guy has looked to me for that answer. And I’m a planner (and a pleaser) so I take the bait. But then I’m not surrendering, I’m controlling. And boy I want to. I want to find this special man, yesterday. Ugh! 

So now I am trying to find “the one” and I’m getting my heart broken. It’s good.  It’s never happened before (I married at 19). And it also sucks. I “love” hard. I connect. Deeply. And the breakup sucks.  How do these guys say they love you one minute, and run the next?   Is that really love? I can’t have superficial relationships.  The last guy I dated didn’t want to talk about the hard/emotional stuff. I put my 16 year-old cat down right before Christmas. He could not support me in that. My brother had (and is still dealing with the recovery of) esophageal cancer. It has been hard. I’ve needed quiet to process.  That didn’t work well for him. He wanted fun, fun, fun!  And loved our relationship when it was all fun. And so did I. We were so great at “the fun.” Life just doesn’t work like that. At some point, we all have to face the hard. You have to be vulnerable. And allow yourself and others to feel. Isn’t that love? Love, in of itself, is surrendering, isn’t it? And I want someone to do that with. Thank you, next.

 I surrendered. I got my heart broken. And I need to do it again. Why? Because the results are worth it. A connection. A partner. Love. He’s out there.

Brene Brown talks about what comes first? vulnerability or trust? She says they are interchangeable and can help create the other. So be vulnerable…you begin to trust. Trust…will lead to vulnerability. 

 I say, if you want to feel love, you have to give it. Even if it hurts. 

 I think giving love though and trusting is also about how you see yourself.  If you think you are worthy of love, you’ll give it freer. If you don’t, well…

 As educators, and parents we are constantly looking for the knowledge. How can my kids be successful?  They have to know it all, do well on tests, and get into the best schools. Educators and parents are looking for schools that get the best results, academically. Being vulnerable, confident, on a journey, and able to deal with your emotions--not interested. 

 So, let’s consider some cognitive dissonance…

 Brene Brown also says “Living and loving with our whole hearts is a journey with equal parts heart work and head work.”

 I have always believed in writing workshop…

  • We need to surrender AND have structure.

  • Build a writer’s confidence (heart) AND their craft (head).

  • We need to celebrate process (journey) as well as product (results).

These somewhat seemingly conflicting ideas happen beautifully in writing workshop.  We can and need to do the head work and the heart work. And in doing so striving towards some balance so that we have kids who know their worth and have academic success. 

 Below are some ways it can show up in writing workshop:

 

Structure

  • Happens daily 45-60

  • Three parts (ml, independent writing, teaching share)

  • Structure in instruction (ML has parts, conferring, partnership work)

Surrender

  • Lessons change based on your kids needs

  • May need to use a different unit, or grade based on kids need

  • Sharing your writing will surprise you and your kids

  • When conferring, you never really know where that conference will take you.  It’s all up to the writer.

Craft (head)

  • Teaching and exposing different genres (narrative, information, opinion, poetry)

  • Teaching different skills (organization, leads, endings, focus, elaboration, language, spelling, mechanics)

  • Writers go through a process

Confidence (heart)

  • Using specific writers in your ML as a model for great work. Can do it throughout the lesson. Yesterday, I conferred with Monique and she did…I listened into Maggie and Holly and they were talking about..

  • Highlighting writers in a positive way during independent writing. Writers may I have your attention please. Matthew is trying out some of the work we did yesterday. So impressive. Matthew can you read just your lead and listen to see if the rest of you might figure out the lead he used

  • Conferring: 

My very first writing mentor was a woman named Janie Guilbault. She gave me the most precious gift. She taught me to see the strengths of writers NOT the deficits. I am so grateful for her. I had to switch my mind intentionally to do that.  Once you do and see how kids respond, you never go back.

 

Lucy Calkins also taught me to be in AWE of what writers do. So I always approach a conference in that way…

What work are you doing as a writer?

LISTEN…BE IN THE MOMENT. DO NOT START CONFERRING IF YOU CAN’T BE.

Then say, “May I give you a compliment?

 

Product (results)

Anything written can be seen as “the product” typically we think of it as:

  • In one sitting, answer a prompt/question

  • On demand assessment (in 45 min. write your best story, opinion, or information writing)

  • Over a course of 4-6 weeks produce a published piece of your best work (went through a process) ready to share to the world (orally, displayed on a bulletin board, in a portfolio)

Process (journey)

K-2:

  • Starting a new piece (books) every day (or every other day) for three weeks

  • Select 2/3 books to practice revising and editing

  • Publish/Celebrate (may display work with ALL of its changes included—should be able to see the revisions/edits made)

3-8:

  • Generate lots of entries (seed ideas) in their writer’s notebook

  • Select one to develop

  • Develop it finding meaning and organization

  • Draft across pages coming out of the WNB

  • Revise the draft 

  • Edit the draft

  • Publish

 

I don’t what comes first the head work or heart work, but I do believe that people need both. And with both they begin to see their value and worth.

 LOVE

an intense feeling of deep affection

Christy’s definition: Having such deep affection

that you have that person’s back, and their best interest in mind.

Shouldn’t we all have an intense feeling of deep affection for ourselves first?

 If you don’t, go get some. Immediately. 

 OR…

 Email me and I’ll give you some!

For information on literacy services (summer retreats here) and support, contact Leading With Heart. Check out our Facebook page and YouTube page for videos, literacy content and support.

With love always,

Christy

 

 

 

reading identity books.jpg

Identity

Understand, Deepen & Celebrate More of Who We Are

Read Aloud

When my marriage was starting to unravel, I turned to books. First and foremost, books about divorce. Not easy to find. I searched and read, and each book never gave me what I needed. A friend asked me if I had read The Power of Now by Eckert Tolle?  She said I was “future tripping” and this book would help me to stay in the moment. I devoured it up. The same friend told me to read Brene’ Brown’s book Daring Greatly. Drank that one right up. From there I read and read and read. Here are a few books that helped me that year:

 

Almost Everything by Anne Lamott
You are a Badass by Jen Sincero

The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck by Mark Ronson

Letting Go by David Hawkins

Codependent No More by Melody Beattie

Five Languages of Love by Gary Chapman

The Cinderalla Complex by Collette Downing

The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak

 

If you study the list closer, you will see a theme starting to immerge. Probably you can see romantic love being a theme, but hopefully you are seeing also that I am trying to find my sense of self and worth.  By studying what I’m reading you learn a little about who I am, what I’m interested in, and what I’m passionate about. You get a little sense of me as a person. We can do that with kids too. 

You might want to read books during read aloud that will help readers see themselves and others in books.  We want to read them AND we want to have conversations around books. Here’s how we might plan read aloud focusing on identity. In order to focus on identity, we are being curious and compassionate really getting to know and connect with each child in our class on a human level.  And we are also helping the rest of the class to do that, too.

I recently discovered a series called A Kids Book About. I cannot tell you how much I adore them.  It started with one man writing about his experience around race and it turned into something much bigger. Each book has a different author.  The books deal with topics such as: gratitude, belonging, death, gender, anxiety, bullying, anxiety, etc…

Their Mission:

We make kids’ books that matter. There are no dragons, silly bears, or cute tales about princesses. Only the challenging, empowering, and important topics that kids experience every day. Kids' lives are complicated, and our mission is to help kids and their grownups have honest conversations about things that matter.

You might start with any of these books. I plan on starting with empathy.  A skill near and dear to my heart since I recently was certified in Brene’ Brown’s Dare to Lead course.  I also want to consider a picture book that I might teach alongside empathy. Two come to my mind immediately: Each Kindness and Those Shoes. I like the idea of reading A Kids Book About first because we learn about these important ideas that matter, and then we can see how they show up in the books we read. 

 

Here are a few planned post its:

Before Reading:

Skill: Vocabulary/Theme Method: T & T (turn & talk)

Prompt:

Hmmm…Empathy.  Have you ever heard that word before?  What do you think it might mean and what would you expect to find in the book? T & T

On the page with the letters “Ever” BIG 

Skill: Critical Literacy Method: TA (teacher think aloud)

Prompt:

Hmmm…the letters have changed drastically on this page.  I feel like I need to stop and do some thinking around them. Most important book EVER?!  I’m a little skeptical. I’ve read many important books.  Is empathy that big of a deal?  I better pay close attention to understand why.

After you read, Can you guess how I felt?

Skill: Inference around feelings Method: T & T

Prompt:

So how do you think she felt?  Think about how things were for her and now how they are…T & T

After you read, hard, sad, scary

Skill: Critical Literacy Method: TA 

Prompt:

Interesting…when someone feels something HARD, SAD, or SCARY. Daron Roberts didn’t use feelings like happy or excited…he used feelings that if we think about our mood meter (Marc Brackett’s mood meter from Permission to Feel) are down feelings.  And he said the word HARD. It feels like people need support when those feelings pop up. Maybe I need to pay closer attention to when people are feeling that way. 

After you read the pages where sympathy and empathy are compared

Skill: Vocabulary/ Synthesis Method: S & J (stop & jot)

Prompt:

Interesting…Sympathy is to feel FOR someone.  Empathy is to feel WITH someone….What does that mean to you?  And what realizations are you having.  I am starting to realize…think a little about that page we discuss earlier.  This is the most important book EVER.

 After you read the 4 steps condensed on one page

Skill: Critical Literacy/Theme Method: T & T

Prompt:

Interesting…there are four steps.  Talk about those four steps and figure out with your partner how you might live differently if you try one step or all 4… T & T.

 After you read the last page

Skill: Theme/ Critical Literacy Method: S & J

Prompt:

The ending is beautiful but also a little confusing for me. Why did he end it like that? What do you think he means by courageous and creative?

Once you finish the book, you might have a GRAND DISCUSSION with the class about the book.  I would let them start and see where it takes you.  If it goes flat at all, you might have some questions you could throw out at the class to see if it helps the conversation grow something deeper.

Here are a few:

·      The author said the book was the most important book EVER.  Do you agree or disagree and WHY?

·      The author compared sympathy and empathy.  Why do you think he did that?

·      He mentions HARD feelings…sadness and fear…any others and why is that important to empathize when people have these HARD feelings

·      Thoughts about the ending? What do those two words—courageous and creative have to do with EMPATHY?

·      How does this book give you power? Or make you live/think differently?

 Tomorrow would be a perfect opportunity to read Those Shoes or Each Kindness to see how empathy fits in. Planning and having a grand conversation for each book similar to how I highlighted above in A Kids Book About Empathy.

Then connect this work to book shopping.

 You might have questions to guide their book shopping:

·      After reading about empathy, you might live differently, and you also might consider books differently.  Maybe even looking for books where you think a character is going through something hard.

You also can ask yourself questions like:

·      What are you curious about?

·      What genre do you prefer? Fiction or nonfiction?  Mystery, fantasy, historical fiction, realistic fiction?

·      What topics do you want to read about? 

·      Are you interested in human connection such as friendship, divorce, race, gender identity, loss, empathy, growing up?

·      Or perhaps learning about new things such as turtles, soccer, cooking?

What we read and learn about each other’s reading can tell us so much about a person.  Are you a mystery reader, fantasy, history, realistic fiction, nonfiction or self-help? This can reveal your interests, passions, and curiosities—helping shape who are or want to become. Paying attention to what others read can help you see the “whole” child. And help us deepen our love for each and every child in our class.

For information on literacy services and support, contact Leading With Heart. Check out our Facebook page and YouTube page for videos, literacy content and support.

With love~

Christy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Series of Blogs on

How Love Shows up in Writing Workshop & Interactive Read Aloud

 

Seriously Love?!  You show love every day to your kids…just showing up is showing love. So true.  Recently I was asked about achievement vs. emotional health.  I feel like there is discomfort around the two. We want kids to achieve but we know they have a lot on their plate. And research shows how difficult it is to focus when our emotions take over. Yet, we have so much to teach. Especially now when some of our kids may be an entire school year behind in their achievement.  That said, emotions are at its height for everyone. I think we can do both—help kids identify and manage their emotions and achieve at high levels.  So loving is about achievement and learning and preparedness for what the world throws you, and it is also about emotions and how to handle those. With the opportunities that come our way also will come failures, sadness, anxiety, tension, disappointments, worry, shock, and on and on. How do we embrace these feelings, accept them and manage them? As teachers, part of loving our kids is supporting their emotional lives. I also define love as a deep knowing of all of your kids, and expecting greatness from all. 

 

Each week (I’m hoping on Monday), I will publish a blog around literacy love. I will alternate each week from writing work to read aloud work, and those blogs for both weeks will have a theme.  Some themes may last longer than two weeks. 

 

Whatever the theme, I will be addressing the literacy content/craft and how to weave the love/confidence building/emotional lives throughout.

 

Here goes…

 

Identity

Who are you, really?

Writing Workshop

 

I have always loved the idea of knowing kids’ writing identity. Why they write? Where they write? When is it easy/hard? What part of the process do they like? What do they wish for in writing partner? I love the idea of honoring their writing selves without judgement.  And naming that writing is hard. For everyone. 

 

Here is a sample of identity work for grades 3-5 grade:

 

Writing Identity Survey

Name__________________________________

Reading Identity Survey

Please answer each question honestly. You answers will help me to know you and support you in your journey as a writer….

I enjoy writing.
I can think of lots to write about.
I like writing about my life.
I like writing about my feelings.
I like writing stories.
I like writing nonfiction.

The handout has three columns with not yet, starting to, yes. Writers answer where they think they are. These are just a sample.


After the death of George Floyd, I started studying how to be an antiracist teacher with some colleagues.  The first book we read was We want to do More Than Survive by Bettina Love. In that book she discusses the importance of knowing the WHOLE child. Every inch that you could find out about.  That made so much sense to me.  And I decided that it shouldn’t be just the writer’s writing identity, but it should be bigger. 

Here is a sample of my notebook, a writer’s notebook and some categories in which you can get writers to think about and put in their writer’s notebook:

Christy's identity.JPG
piper identity.jpg

 Some categories to give to your writers might be:

  • What makes YOU, you (culture, religion, favorite food, traditions)

  • Family Make - up (who is in your family? What is your birth order?)

  • Matters most to you (what do you value—friendship, honesty, hard work)

  • Turning Points (events/experiences that have shaped or changed you)

  • What others see as a weakness (being sensitive, loud, shy…)


Some Identity Tips:

·      You can do this work tomorrow.  We always feel as if this should happen at the beginning of the year.  And it should.  But you might want to start it immediately especially for this year.

·      This could be a mini lesson using your notebook to show how. If you teach 3-5  you might have your own writer’s notebook and try to share as openly and honestly as you can.  If you do it, your writers will feel safe in doing it as well.

·      Create long term writing partnerships from this identity work.  Really looking at personalities.  I like to partner up a quieter writer with a writer a little more outgoing.  They can support each other in being strong listeners and speakers. 

·      Once partnerships are created, it is their responsibility to really get to know their partner. You might do a partner share learning about each other. You might ask partners to share something fascinating about their partner with the entire class. You might have this be an ongoing thing.  Throughout the first month of school and even throughout the school year. 

 

Getting to know your kids—often it is hard to find the time. Sometimes we find out things that scare us. Always we can gain trust and a deeper understanding so we can love each child with our whole heart.

 Much Literacy Love~

Christy